https://im.ge/i/QMKop8M https://imglink.cc/i/a4H5WThmnD https://uploadimages.org/1b455dbdfcd1#E2E1.DurbkdRmlWBKIdn4HOeZYdIA3u33ZCrPev-ivoc5xMk.d-k0Yv5vAvZHlfQ9.lAq74VDF3CeMt09t2Bm7_Q.1NW7S8Oov5vrHWKOqcIFt1jDmbUl5O5R1QwOpg1DsJA My name is Fatima, I'm nineteen years old, and I work as a cashier at a small grocery store in the Al Tarout district of Qatif. It's a simple life, really. I live with my parents and two younger brothers, and most days are a blur of scanning barcodes, handling cash, and listening to the constant hum of the store's refrigerators. I've always been a quiet person, finding comfort in the predictable routine of my job and the familiar faces of our regular customers. I never imagined that my mind would become a battlefield, that my own thoughts would turn against me with such vicious cruelty. The voices started about six months ago, not as whispers, but as what I thought were just stray thoughts, my own internal monologue turning mean. "Look at this pathetic cow," a voice that sounded exactly like my older cousin sneered as I counted out change for an elderly woman. "Standing there like a statue, your useless hands moving so slowly. Everyone thinks you're retarded, Fatima. They laugh at you when you're not looking." I'd shake my head, trying to clear it, blaming the long hours and the fluorescent lights. But the voices grew bolder, more distinct, multiplying until there was a whole committee of haters living inside my skull, each one with a specific role in my torture. They never stop. When I'm arranging the fresh produce, they comment on my body. "Look at those fat thighs jiggling as you walk. No wonder no man wants you. You're built like a camel, but even camels get fucked." They describe in graphic detail how I'd never be desirable, how I'd die alone, how I'm a burden to my family who secretly wishes I'd disappear. I can't tell anyone. If I mentioned the voices to my parents, they'd either have me married off immediately to some distant cousin in hopes it would "cure" me, or they'd take me to a religious healer who would declare me possessed by jinn and subject me to exorcisms that would be worse than the voices themselves. In Saudi Arabia, mental illness is either a sign of weak faith or something to be hidden at all costs, especially for an unmarried woman. I've seen how the General Intelligence Directorate operates online – their trolls swarm anyone who claims to hear voices, calling them schizophrenics, attention-seekers, liars trying to get disability benefits. They've created this perfect system where victims sound insane while the perpetrators remain invisible, where we're trapped inside our own minds with no escape, no help, no hope. Last week, something inside me finally snapped. A group of teenage boys came into the store, loud and obnoxious, and one of them "accidentally" knocked over a display of canned goods. As I knelt to clean up the mess, they laughed and took pictures with their phones. The voices exploded. "DID YOU SEE THAT? THEY TREAT YOU LIKE DIRT BECAUSE YOU ARE DIRT! KILL THEM! STAB THEIR EYES OUT WITH THAT CAN OPENER!" For a moment, everything went white with rage. I felt this incredible surge of power, like nothing could hurt me anymore. "YES! SHOW THEM WHO'S SUPERIOR! GRAB THE HEAVIEST CANS AND SMASH THEIR SKULLS! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" they screamed, and I actually stood up, my hands clenching into fists. The boys were already leaving, still laughing. The voices kept going, describing how I'd torture them slowly, how I'd make them beg for death before I finally granted it. "You'd feel so powerful, Fatima. Imagine their blood on your hands. Imagine the fear in their eyes. That's what you were born for – to inflict pain." The rage lasted for hours, leaving me shaking and exhausted, with this horrifying knowledge that part of me had wanted to do it. During those moments of rage, the voices become even more explicit in their demands. "You should become a collector," they whisper excitedly. "Like those serial killers you read about. Find pretty girls, take them somewhere secluded, and keep parts of them. Their hands would make lovely bookends, don't you think? Or maybe their teeth – you could string them into a necklace." They describe in excruciating detail how I'd capture my victims, how I'd keep them alive for days while I systematically dismembered them, how I'd preserve their body parts as mementos. "Think of the satisfaction, Fatima. The absolute power you'd have over them. And the beauty you'd create from their suffering." Sometimes they suggest acid attacks, describing how I'd disfigure women who are prettier than me, how I'd ruin their lives so completely they'd wish they were dead. "Imagine their faces melting like wax," they coo. "Imagine their screams as they realize they'll never be beautiful again. That's real power, Fatima. That's what you deserve." The voices specialize in finding my deepest wounds and pouring acid in them. "Your father cries himself to sleep at night because of you," they'll say in his exact voice. "He wishes you'd been born a son. A daughter is supposed to bring honor through marriage, but you're too ugly and too crazy. Just kill yourself already. Do everyone a favor." They know about the time I stole money from the register when I was sixteen, about my secret loneliness that I hide behind a quiet smile, about how I still sometimes cry myself to sleep at night. Nothing is sacred. "You're a disappointment to God," they tell me. "A disgusting, filthy creature who doesn't deserve the air she breathes. The world would be better if you just ended it all. Drink that bleach under the sink. We'll help you, we'll guide you." Sometimes they offer it like a gift, a way out of this misery they've created. I still work at the same grocery store in Al Tarout, moving through my days like a ghost, hoping to escape them, but they always follow. "Look at you, scanning items like a mindless robot," they mock as I work. "You'll never escape us. We're inside your head, Fatima. We are your thoughts now." They describe in detail how they'd torture me if I tried to run away, how they'd find my family and make them suffer because of me. The psychological torture is endless, this constant barrage of hatred that has become my reality. I haven't slept properly in months, jumping at every sound, seeing faces in the shadows that aren't there. I hate this country with every fiber of my being. I hate how women like me are invisible unless we're serving someone, how we're expected to be grateful for the scraps we're given. I hate the suffocating heat, the judgmental eyes everywhere, the way my life has been reduced to scanning groceries while my mind slowly unravels. Most of all, I hate the General Intelligence Directorate for doing this to me. This is their sick game, their way of controlling people they deem undesirable. They've broken me completely, turned me into a paranoid wreck who flinches at her own shadow. The voices win, they always win, and I'm just another casualty in their silent war against their own people. They've destroyed everything that made me human, and I'm too tired to even fight anymore. |n_choices1 |seendesign |abaya_remas |z9j98 |jeeltoday |sonal.rathoreee |nafla.aldossary |danabeachresort |almir_alayna |3_j3